First, Guruji wants to share some more details about his final experience of freedom that he spoke about yesterday. He was held in this energy posture of Guru bhava, immersed in the energy of the Guru. His awareness was Baba Muktananda’s energy, and he felt completely in oneness with it because of Kundalini Shakti. He put all his energy in that and used the mantra “I am Muktananda” because that was the mantra She approved for him. That was the mantra that began his deeper period of seclusion. “I am Muktananda” was not the image of him but his posture. Muktananda was always so firm, so strong in Kundalini. Guruji held on that firmness and strongness and how centered he was in that, and he stayed with it.

On the 39th day, She challenged him. In the mental space, someone challenged him that he was going to fall, and Guruji said, “No that will never happen”, in the strength of that posture. But when he tried to command from the head space, he could not. His power was not yet there. The next night, the same challenge came again, and Guruji said the same thing: “No, I will not do what you are saying.” It was pointing to a weakness that he didn’t have but they said he would have it. And then he was so strong in this one that the energy lifted and his whole head broke open.

And at the same time the energy pulled from the lower area and stabilized at the navel, and he was so free of the primal area. That is where it has been ever since. From the navel to the crown, that is his energy reality. This is our subtle body that has transcended the physical. The navel is the brain of the whole lower area, so it stabilized there.

This experience gave him a different kind of power: Guru power, the power of Shaktipat. He didn’t understand the fullness of this, but just knew he had this freedom. He didn’t know how to use this freedom because all he knew was sadhana. It took him months to reorient again. But this is what happened on the final night.

Today, we stay on the topic of being carried in every moment by Kundalini Shakti. Kundalini Shakti is the creator of the Play. She comes out of pure being and is always connected to pure being (the Shiva-Shakti relationship of tantra). Pure consciousness and energy constitute the Play. You get to pure consciousness through the centering in witnessing. When the witness is not pure, it will be in the ego, connecting with the manas and the external world. That detachment from the ego has to happen. The pure witness can only happen when the ego comes into the posture of surrender. If the ego is carried away through lust or self-righteousness, or even subtle traits of this, we can’t be free of it.

To really make this last part of the journey requires humility. Only when you see these subtle traits inside of you and they become undesirable, you can change it. If you don’t see hidden lust, for example in food addiction or other sensory pleasures, or that subtle fear deep within, or the subtle aspects of conditional love, then how can the ego ever be free of the clutch of material existence?

That ability to see can only happen with grace, by making that connection with Kundalini Shakti. Only She can take you to the top of the head. You can’t do it with your own power. You can’t determine when you’ll be enlightened or become free, you need to leave that to Her.

But She is always there waiting for you to come back home! Sometimes we don’t follow. We feel a little bit of the call, but we don’t follow. We think, “Later on I’ll follow that.” We delay, and She allows that. But there is no real joy or fulfillment in the delay. The goal is staying with Her.

How can you find Her? She is in every chakra that is awakened. She is where the kriyas are happening: the pain of the heart, the restlessness of the mind. If you are trying to control your mind with your own might, you can’t do that! You need to connect to Her. Grace is necessary.  Don’t leave Her out of this Play. When Guruji’s heart opened up, he knew that this was Her and he could feel Her in all he did. He wanted more of this, craved more flow, and he held on to that. She was in his hands when he taught, in his voice. Staying with Her, serving for Her and with Her. He worked very hard in those days, tutoring for free, simply because he felt the urge to help people and serve in Her.

He never forgot Her in the secular world. And when he would lose Her a little bit, for example because of tiredness, he would chant quietly in the inner space until he could hear the song in his head and the energy would return. He would woo it back, attract it back. That was his relationship with Her. He found Her in the heart and in the gut (that gave him strength, confidence, personability). He didn’t use the root and sacral much in that time, and when he got the brow power, that was heaven for him. He could rein his mind in, pull it back. He lost all sense of boredom; it was exciting to focus there. The brow, heart, and gut became primal areas where he would stay with Her: “You need to be with me in this!” His sadhana days were in Her, with Her, for Her.

He didn’t worry about enlightenment. At every stage, his cup runneth over. He had Her, what should he complain about? Why would he want to look at the ladder when he could stay with Her at every step? She always kept him away from the past and the future. She filled his heart constantly. What could he ask for? All he knew in the days before the 40 Days was this desire for aloneness that became stronger and stronger, and that resulted in the 40 Days. She was already cultivating this desire in his heart, and then She formalized it for the 40 Dyas.

And the 40 Days itself was extreme magic. Different dimensions together. This is difficult to explain. It was as though he was living in all these dimensions or worlds together. He felt the presence of the Masters, he felt the flow, he felt the energy protecting the space.

All of us can live in that same magic but you have to see it! You have to see that Kundalini is trying to woo you back! You have to see the kriyas that tell you to breathe differently or choose your associations. She brings the books, the messages, but you think you know. If you begin to see Her presence through the voices around you, the information coming to you, then you can do your sadhana properly. And your sadhana must become a joy by being carried in Her. Guruji stayed with Her throughout his sadhana. It was his security, passion, and joy. He didn’t know anything about being enlightened, being a Guru, but She made it happen.

Stay with Her! God is with you! How can you not see it? How can you feel alone when the Shakti is awakened within you? How can you be bored when you can move the prana up and down the column? When you have the power to chant, to speak in and from Her, to act in Her. Qigong and yoga are actions in Her, not just exercises but a play of energy, consciousness, and breath. Guruji’s walking, speaking, relationships are all in that joy of expressing Her in and through him.

We need to become completely immersed in Her, so She can take us every step of the way. Worrying about how long it will take is the ego in impatience. Guru Gita says to be contended with however much you get.


  • Pure energy and consciousness constitute the Play. You get to pure consciousness through centering in the witness, but initially the witness will not be pure as the ego still gets carried away by lust or self-righteousness, even in subtle ways.
  • We need the humility to really see this hidden lust, the subtle fears, or the subtle aspects of conditional love. If we don’t see these, how can we ever become free?
  • That ability to see can only happen by grace, by making that connection with Kundalini Shakti. We cannot determine when we will become free and get there by our own power. We need to leave that to Her. Why should we worry about the final goal when we can enjoy every step with Her?
  • She is always there waiting for us to come back home. We need to follow Her call without delay. She is in every chakra that is awakened and showing us with kriyas what to do. She is bringing the information to us through voices around us or through books. How can we not see that She is always with us?
  • We need to stay with Her, craving more of Her, wooing Her back if we lose Her for a bit. We need to serve for Her and with Her continuously. All our actions should be in Her. We should affirm “You need to be with me in this!”
  • If we become completely immersed in Her, She will take us every step of the way. Our sadhana must become a joy by being carried in Her.

Enjoy the practices!

(Each day, I’ll try to give some notes and a short summary of the main practices outlined in Guruji’s morning talk, shortly after the program finishes!)

Recent Posts