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Welcome to Day 13 of our 40-Day Retreat.
I want to continue with the subject we have been discussing. Over the last few days we have been speaking about meditation on the Guru. Today I want to go into the technique that worked for me, how I understood it and how I practiced it. Furthermore, I want to say that it is a practice that I did not develop. It just came to me. I had no idea of what this practice should be, but it came naturally to me. I would say it was divine guidance.
Addressing the Question
If you followed the last few verses that were discussed, you will see that they are very powerful verses, because the Cosmic Teacher Shiva is saying that in this very body we can achieve liberation. And in fact, you would remember that when the retreat started the question was, “How can the one who is embodied be liberated?” So the Teacher is addressing the question in a very nice way. He goes into detail as to what is happening in the body. And what happened to me in my spiritual awakening is all about what is in these verses.
Pursuing the Quest
In my spiritual quest I went to India. The motivation for going to India was simply one: to meet spiritual masters; to experience the presence of a spiritual master; to experience the impact of a spiritual master. This is because after all my readings and practices, I realized that those were not enough. I had to meet a living master. I had such determination. I was 21 years old but I decided I would journey to India, far away from Trinidad and Tobago. I was very determined to find a teacher if such a teacher existed. My plan, therefore, was to search throughout India looking for one of those masters. That was my quest.
First impact of Energy
The first spiritual impact in India that really took me to a deeper place was when I came to an Ashram - a place of spiritual discipline. There I felt a profound impact of energy. Looking back I think I was ready for it, and I think the place was ideal for giving me that. The first impact of energy made me understand that inside of this physical body is an energy body. That was the first impact! That is why I love when the Cosmic Teacher Shiva said, Pindam Kundalini Shakti. He said that the body is more than what you see; there is a subtle energy in the body.
My first experience was in a chanting session. Of course, I felt before that this Chanting Hall was absolutely beautiful and entrancing. When I sat there I could feel that I was sitting in a huge hall of music and it was as though there was a large orchestra there. There were simple singers around me but in my first evening in this place I actually felt as though I was in a Royal Hall of Music. I was lifted simply by what I was listening to: the combination of voices and the rhythm of the drums. It was amazing! After a day or two I began to feel that my body was responding to all this energy. I began to look at my body move and flow with this energy, and I was not doing it. I just was not doing it! I then realized that there was some kind of energy involved in this. My hands were clapping for themselves; the body was swaying and days after, the voice would come out for itself, and I was just looking, fascinated by the energies.
One of the stressful points I had in my life was the lack of love. However, after some days I could actually feel that some block from my heart moved away in this energy field. Love was pouring out from inside of me. That was my first contact and experience with my energy body, one that I never had before.
I became the Observer
After that experience the physical body was not the same for me anymore. I realized that inside of this body was an energy body. I realized too that the teaching in that Ashram was about energy. It was about Kundalini. That was a huge fascination for me so I began to read everything that I could about this Kundalini Energy. I also began to observe the process of what was happening within me. As the days went by there became a shift. I could look at my body move. I could look at my body sing and sway in this energy; I was just watching. I became an observer looking at this whole beautiful process inside of me, and I realized that we have an energy field inside.
So when the Cosmic Teacher says Pindam Kundalini Shakti, he is telling us that inside of us is an energy body. In trying to meditate on the Guru this is one of first principles, that meditation on the Guru does not mean meditation on a person. It means trying to understand the energy field that the person is initiating or creating, and becoming a part of that energy field.
Concept of Shaktipat
While there was no physical Guru in India then, I certainly believed that the Guru Tattwa existed in all those people, and it was touching my Guru Tattwa. So there was a play of energy from the group to me. Now my understanding is that was, what was called Shaktipat: a transmission or descent or movement of energy from that vast source of energy into me, to wake up my own energy. That initiation of energy that we get from a group or person in such a powerful way is called Shaktipat. That was a kind of initiation that brought about a complete rebirth in my being, a completely new awareness.
Transforming Power of Prana
What became important is what Shiva says after. He says Padam is Hamsa, and we associate Hamsa with the energy of the breath. In normal breathing, like when a baby takes its first breath, it becomes aware of its physical being. Therefore, the Hamsa makes us aware of our physical being if we begin to pursue this prana inside. The prana moves along the Kundalini channel which is called Sushumna. This is one of the other blocks that we need to remove.
With the prana when we first begin to breathe, as a human being we think: “I am the body. I am a living being.” This is called Jivatman- a sentient being, a feeling being. What Shiva is saying here is to be aware of this prana. When it begins to work in you changes are going to come. The changes that come from the prana move you from the awareness that ‘I am body’ which is the normal person breathing, to the awareness that “I am spiritual being. I am a source of inner power.” That is called Soham. When we breathe in and begin to realize that ‘I am divine’ that is the Soham mantra that is associated with the breath. The Hamsa transforms into Soham. So when you breathe in and breathe out you begin to feel that you are divine. Soham is a mantra of the breath. Breathing in So you go into that divine consciousness. Breathing out Ham you release the body consciousness. Padam he says is the Hamsa which finally transforms into Soham.
In meditation on the Guru we need to also work the prana because in the Guru the prana is stabilized, it is steady. In the Guru is the Soham awareness so when we begin to work the prana, the Kundalini can move along the spine from chakra to chakra. Then the final chakra of liberation is what he calls the bindu – the point between the eye brows. This is the Guru Chakra.
Meditation on the Guru
When you begin to work the prana and you come to the center of the eyebrow, that is the center of release, that is the bindu point. He says Pindam is the Kundalini Shakti, padam is the Hamsa, and rupam is the bindu point. And when the bindu is pierced then your relationship with Guru, your relationship with your inner being all change because you go beyond the name and form, and you go into the space inside the form. So when the prana becomes steady and the bindu is pierced your awareness becomes ‘I am divine’. You begin to feel ‘I am divine’. That’s what meditation on the Guru really means. It means coming into a space where the Guru is inside of him or her – that space of freedom, that space of Soham, that space beyond form. This happens when the bindu is pierced. So when we meditate on Guru all of these need to take place.
Experiencing a shift in Consciousness
In 1978 during the 40 Days that was the beginning of my meditation practice. I began to meditate in a real different way on Guru, in a way where I could feel that my inner being is the being of the Guru. And that was a very important shift in my consciousness. Just as the very first time there was a tremendous shift in moving from the body consciousness, similarly, when I came to this point where the bindu was pierced strongly in the 40 Days, a new shift came.
Of course this chakra was opened during that initial time in India but during the 40 Days a new and deeper piercing of that chakra came about, in a way that I began to identify with the energy and power of the Guru. So my meditation became the energy and power of the Guru. No longer thinking of the Guru outside, but completely identifying with the inner state of the Guru. And what became magical was the experience I had that took me into this meditation. I began to feel the actual awareness that I was the Guru. It was a magical shift, but I will tell you more about that tomorrow. That was an exciting shift in consciousness that really made me understand the Guru Principle in a very deep way.
In meditation on the Guru we need to understand:
- The inner being of the Guru.
- We need to understand the chakras inside that function in the Guru and in us.
- We need to understand how the prana moves in the Guru and in us.
- We need to understand what Soham means when the prana begins to become steady.
- We need to understand when this bindu is pierced what kind of consciousness comes.
- All of this can happen in the perfect relationship with the Guru.
We will talk more about this tomorrow.
