Welcome to Day 23 of our 40-Day retreat.
Yesterday we spoke about the ego as an obstacle and the intellect being part of that because the intellect is the intelligence of the ego. We spoke about the ego in self-righteousness, thinking highly of itself.
Ego as an obstacle to itself
Let us take another view of the ego as an obstacle to itself. When the ego takes the opposite view, and thinks it is inferior, it is worthless, when it becomes the doubter, the anxious one, the fearful one, then it is also an obstacle. When it limits its own self, and this is a very real situation in our lives, this limits our possibilities. So let us take a look at this and how we can overcome it.
“I am not worthy of Grace…”
We say sometimes that we are worthless, we don’t deserve better and we hold this view for whatever the reason might be. Whatever we have been told and whatever we have experienced, we tend to think that we are not deserving. Some of us think that we are not even worthy of Grace. We think that we have done so many bad things in our lives, this is according to our judgment, that we are just not worthy. We are afraid to enter a temple; or afraid to come into the presence of someone whom we think is holy. And the idea that we are not deserving is itself a limiting idea. Who is saying you’re not deserving? You are saying that. Does the Universe say that?
From those who are wise, we hear, “It doesn’t matter how many times you fall, get up again.” The wise say, “Forget the past; think about now, the past is gone. Whatever you have done in the past is gone. What about now? What about the opportunity you have in “the now”?
Overcoming this inferiority – taking another view
Begin to see your worth in order to overcome this inferiority, “I am lesser than, I am worthless.” We need to take another view of ourselves and to believe in our possibilities. This means to take a positive attitude. Furthermore, we are told that the Universe is benevolent. It is merciful; it is gracious.
A simple example is the sun. The sun shines to everyone. It doesn’t matter whether the person thinks he is a bad person and not deserving, or a good person. It shines to everyone equally. Likewise, the fruit tree doesn’t withhold its fruit. If you think that you are bad and not deserving, the Universe continues to give. What does it say to you? Of course, you can go into the more philosophical thinking, as Shakespeare said:
“Nothing is ever good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
It is we who interpret the good and bad in the Universe. The Universe just is. We need to shift ourselves away from the limiting beliefs that “I am worthless, I don’t deserve,” and to hold the view that “It is I who limit myself by this thinking.” Begin to look for a more liberating point of view.
Another dimension or shade of this is when we are fearful and insecure saying, “I don’t think this will happen. I will never get better. The way it seems, I am likely to get kidnapped. Bandits are going to rob this home. I will never become enlightened.” Insecurity sets in and there is fear. How do we liberate ourselves from that?
Of course, it is in looking at the Universe as being a Universe of abundance. We lose the fear of poverty when we think of an abundant Universe. When we begin to feel the source of our own power inside of us, we lose that sense of insecurity. Besides insecurity and anxiety, another dimension to the experience of the ego being limiting is when we become comfortable with where we are, and we don’t seem to want to move further. And we stagnate.
Going beyond your comfort level
You may ask yourself in your meditation, “Why am I not going further”? A great possibility is that you are comfortable where you are. Your body feels relaxed. Your mind feels a little comfortable. You stay in this state that I call “a bubble”. You don’t really venture forward, “How can I deepen my meditation? How can I go further? What is the goal?” You limit yourself just by the comfort level you are in; you stagnate. In meditation you need to push yourself further, to actually see that you are stagnating. “How can I experience more in this meditation? How can I go deeper in my meditation?” And continuously strive to improve. It is easy to get into a lull and you limit yourself just by your acceptance of that state.
The Energy Centres
It is also important to look at the ego limiting itself in terms of the energy of the different centres we spoke about. You can see how the ego can limit itself by its belief in every one of these centres:
Heart: If you think of the emotional centre of the heart, when we think, “I am lonely, I am sad, I am fearful,” that emotional quality limits yourself, so that is coming from the emotional area.
Navel: If you are in your centre of vitality, the navel, when you think, “I am weak, I’ve no energy,” you limit yourself.
Base: When at the base you think, “I am not grounded, I’m not physically strong.”
All these are limiting thoughts or qualities that come from each centre.
Faith or belief - using a strong affirmation
How do we overcome this? How do we shift from this kind of limiting idea or belief that undermines our well-being and confidence? Here we can use “belief” in a very powerful way, or what we may sometimes refer to as “faith.” If you use the power of an affirmation for example, in a strong way, and hold onto the affirmation until you can feel every fibre of your being vibrating with this affirmation. That is an important point to note, “until you can feel every fibre of your being vibrating with this affirmation”; you will experience a liberating feeling. This is where people say, “Think positive. Believe in yourself. Have faith.”
A way to do that is to take an affirmation right through. Say it, say it, say it! Bring it into your emotional being. Bring it into your physical being. Bring it into your vital being. Let every centre resonate to this affirmation: “I am strong, mentally, emotionally, physically, vitally, I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong.” Begin to repeat that until you believe it and if you keep on saying it enough to yourself, you will. It doesn’t matter what negative quality comes, or what limiting quality comes, override it. Use your intellect, override it.
Associating with those who are strong
If you associate with those who are very positive, very strong in the belief, you are going to find that the energy of that association lifts you. So, associating with those who are strong at the different levels is a powerful way of shifting yourself into that space. Your intellect limits you, and you need to see where it holds you back, where it becomes an obstacle in your progress.
Today we have looked at the other side of the ego: the one that limits itself in doubt, in fear, in insecurity and low self-esteem. And we need to see how this affects us in our progress. So I’ll leave you to think about this.
MEDITATION
Wherever you are sitting, let us sit in a posture of comfort, keeping your back as straight as possible. Today we strive to go deep into our meditation, not to stagnate, to go deeper and to go beyond the limiting energy of the ego. We want to move beyond every limitation that holds us back.
Let us take a moment to keep the body in a position of comfort and relaxation. Acknowledge the presence of intelligent cells in your body. Hold your body cells, your body organs in a loving space in your consciousness. And stay firmly in the belief that “when I hold my body in a loving space I am communicating with every cell, I am energizing them.” Hold firmly to that belief.
Begin to explore and increasing your vitality. Breathe in slowly, breathe out slowly. Breathing out feel the cleansing. Breathing in feel how vital energy enters your body and lifts you. Open the lower abdominal area as you breathe.
Begin to observe the energy that flows along the spine - the subtle energy - and focus on where you feel the energy, at the eyebrow or at the heart or in the whole body. Focus on that subtle energy.
And now hold yourself in the belief, in the attitude that “I am strong, I am strong in the Divine. Enlightenment is a possibility for me. It is certainly a possibility for me. I am going to be liberated in my thinking, my being. I am; I certainly am. I am divine and I am certainly going to realize it. I strive with every effort in my being to overcome every obstacle that holds me back. I am. I am going to achieve it. I am going to realize the full potential of my being. Nothing is going to stop me. I can feel that power in every fibre of my being and I believe that I live in a gracious Universe.
As I seek, the Universe will support my seeking. It will open Its doors to me. I seek with utmost sincerity. I am not going to stagnate in my meditation. I am not going to accept experiences of mediocrity. I am going to pursue deeper and deeper to experience the fullness of my being. I am divine and I believe it. I hold myself in that space of confidence in the source within me. As I seek the source, it moves towards me.
Those who have achieved, those who have done it, give me the strength and faith that I can do it. I am inspired. I seek to connect with the highest energies in my Universe. I seek to connect with those beings who live in the fullness of consciousness. I seek to connect with them. I feel the strength of that connection. I am energized. I breathe in confidence and I breathe away all obstacles. I let it go. I exist in the divine and I have full faith in that.”
Hold yourself in this awareness, this very positive awareness, moving in dynamic awareness of believing in yourself and believing in the possibility of freedom in this moment.
Silence.
“Today, I enter my day, full of positive energy. I believe in the power of the source within me: the abundant omnipotent source within me. I enter my day in the security, in the fearlessness that my connection with the source within me will hold me in great strength. Today, I seek to go beyond any limitation of my ego and intellect. I hold firmly to the view that deep in my being I exist in freedom. I have full faith that that freedom will come to me in any moment. I am not anxious. I wait lovingly, believing in the Grace of the Universe, that everything happens in the perfect moment. I need only to strive and make every effort. I love my Universe, I love my being.
I enter my day in the fullness of my being, knowing that my every word, every thought, every action will be inspired by the love, peace and goodness of my being. I offer thanks to the Creator of Life for the blessings of this day.”
Peace, peace, peace.
